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Is it selfish to broach this subject with my co-worker? Since things have been strictly professional between the two of you, blindsiding her with a declaration of feelings is a recipe for awkwardness all around.

Or should I try and find a different job, and then ask? You have to continue working each other, and it’s not fair to introduce that potential for discomfort into her daily work environment.

Complicating matters, I also believe Jane to be the least effective people manager.

Her team is a revolving door and those with tenure resent her and my manager.

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But that part about reciprocation and paying attention to her cues really matters.

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If you don’t see those things, that means you’ll need to back off.

What do you do if you think your boss is having an affair with your co-worker? About five months into the job, I realized I had developed feelings for one of my co-workers.